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banan001's favorite FMLs
by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Saduglydad / 12/12/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Banana / 12/04/2012 at 11:04am / Puerto Rico / Transportation
by illjustlimpthen / 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals
by fiftyno / 10/01/2012 at 11:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
by unhappy wifey / 09/28/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML
by karmas a kunt / 09/21/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Work
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by FastFoodWaiter / 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…