Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bahamut_pure

Offline (the 01/25/2014 at 6:40am) | Search for a member

bahamut_pure

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bahamut_pure : Sarcasm is my native language.

bahamut_pure's page activity

Visits<b>20smc09</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 10:33am<b>fylx100</b> - the 10/19/2012 at 4:03pm<b>May525XoXo</b> - the 08/12/2012 at 5:27pm<b>Omega_Mus</b> - the 11/26/2011 at 9:44am

bahamut_pure's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of bahamut_pure's badges

bahamut_pure's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44720) - you deserved it (3471)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

#18289580
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29978) - you deserved it (5860)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (41445)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

#18286848
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28590) - you deserved it (2270)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (2959)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

#18283192
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (5878)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

#18281989
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (2846)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I received a fine for leaving my car at the airport. Each day it's been there, they added an additional $50. My car was stolen two weeks ago. FML

#18281505
87 comments

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35377) - you deserved it (4746)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

#18279508
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32423) - you deserved it (2183)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
601 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44361) - you deserved it (11610)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

#18272596
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (6160)

On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

#18272424
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (1905)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tnh - United States

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

#18272205
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32341) - you deserved it (4700)

On 11/17/2011 at 11:50am - work - by Chubby - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

#18271256
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (2032)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:43am - misc - by leaf hater - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: