bahamut_pure

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Offline (the 01/25/2014 at 6:40am)

bahamut_pure

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 541
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About bahamut_pure : Sarcasm is my native language.

bahamut_pure's page activity

Visits<b>20smc09</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 10:33am<b>fylx100</b> - the 10/19/2012 at 4:03pm<b>May525XoXo</b> - the 08/12/2012 at 5:27pm<b>Omega_Mus</b> - the 11/26/2011 at 9:44am

bahamut_pure's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of bahamut_pure's badges

bahamut_pure's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

by chunkymonkey / 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm / Health

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

by G. Briones / 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm / Kids

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

by G. Briones / 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm / Kids

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

by G. Briones / 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm / Kids

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

by OCDrunk / 11/23/2011 at 1:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

by poorchild / 11/23/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

by Gabriela / 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm / Intimacy

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I lost my job for taking an unauthorized vacation. I just got married and requested time off for the wedding and honeymoon months ago; it was approved then. They forgot, and then got angry because I didn't remind them. I did remind them, the day before I left. FML

by lostwife / 11/22/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Holidays

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

by Charles Pennington / 11/22/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

by madison77 / 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm / United States / Love

Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML

by nightowl506 / 11/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

by disciplinaryaction / 11/21/2011 at 2:02am / United States (Connecticut) / Work