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Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11600) - you deserved it (2516)
On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mom, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (131) - you deserved it (6015)
On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20897) - you deserved it (2040)
On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16263) - you deserved it (3580)
On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6318) - you deserved it (21246)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15676) - you deserved it (2240)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5117) - you deserved it (33424)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14452) - you deserved it (2284)
On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6754) - you deserved it (36783)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to show my friends the picture I drew, picturing the four of us in a zombie apocalypse setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend and I'm creeping them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (5441)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)
Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7610) - you deserved it (11193)
On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States
Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (4038)
On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (11986)
On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11625) - you deserved it (17516)
On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14489) - you deserved it (3267)
On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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