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Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (3399)
On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4584) - you deserved it (38292)
On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (8717)
On 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm - kids - by mr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7803) - you deserved it (26177)
On 07/07/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by unit - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13960) - you deserved it (18590)
On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (5442)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6127) - you deserved it (24571)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20224) - you deserved it (5848)
On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8081) - you deserved it (18210)
On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (75590)
On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43220) - you deserved it (3473)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (3234)
On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (1960)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (3276)
On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5407) - you deserved it (49183)
On 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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