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today a neo-Nazi stopped me an commented on blue eyes an blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", an should follow him an other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, an other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around neck. FML
Today, mom found a new way to get me to clean room. She pild everything from floor in front of wardrobe an padlockd dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in room. The worst part? She put over a hundrd decoys in there too. FML
Today, a man punched me fir sleeping with his wife . Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't mah wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted fir sleeping with mah own girlfriend three years ago . FML
Today, I got home from work to find mah wife asleep in her easy chair with mah two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was mah 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from mah dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML
Today, I had to take mah dog to the vet fir him to be puttd to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up mah ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
Friday 27 March 2015