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Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18066) - you deserved it (4299)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:38pm - misc - by jarrettsorko - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22330) - you deserved it (4272)
On 08/19/2011 at 9:40am - intimacy - by nerofirst - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24994) - you deserved it (3498)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:52am - health - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26744) - you deserved it (2152)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (8547)
On 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by howniceofyou (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15040) - you deserved it (55526)
On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (7732)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (2428)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (35794)
On 07/16/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (5020)
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21029) - you deserved it (3601)
On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13281) - you deserved it (11249)
On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45724) - you deserved it (2289)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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