Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

backwoodsartdiva

Search for a member

backwoodsartdiva
  • Town/Country : Kickin' in the Sticks, Wisconsin
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 January 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1565
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About backwoodsartdiva : I'm Ashley. FML and Facebook junkie. 16 years young. Talented enough artist. I love being outside. It's hard not to when you live in the middle of Northern Wisconsin. I go hunting, fishing, snowmobiling, and mudding. Got questions? Message me and ask! I don't bite hard(;

backwoodsartdiva's last visitors

ilovecuddlingzombiejohn10nachoman10potatomanjrtea_brewerdinosxxrawrluvbeccaxxxLlamanator9913sweet0cheeksSemperfi92340

backwoodsartdiva's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of backwoodsartdiva's badges

backwoodsartdiva's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47202) - you deserved it (6164)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41886) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

#20897674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39501) - you deserved it (2255)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:20am - love - by kitkat3308 - United States

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (4002)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48173) - you deserved it (5861)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (4446)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

#20895735
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36402) - you deserved it (2919)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by burb - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

#20895300
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32160) - you deserved it (11164)

On 09/25/2013 at 2:59am - love - by so_screwed - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (4065)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44561) - you deserved it (3560)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37918) - you deserved it (2482)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17111) - you deserved it (123339)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (18651)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (5968)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41582) - you deserved it (5309)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: