babyitsfact

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babyitsfact

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2982
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About babyitsfact : twit-it-itter.
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babyitsfact's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:04pm<b>metalxhead666</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 10:17pm<b>Rachelgrl1989</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 11:43pm<b>omgepiphany</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 9:11pm

babyitsfact's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

babyitsfact's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

by wordmalfunction / 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

by jackelking / 05/25/2009 at 4:33am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

by morningeyes / 05/19/2009 at 10:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

by bezoar10 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

by breathalizard / 05/02/2009 at 2:21am / United States (North Dakota) / Health

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

by jlover42 / 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML

by Kath / 02/08/2009 at 8:55am / Poland (Gdansk) / Love