About baby4mommy : My name is Jamie. My cat Sparkle and I share an apartment just across the river from NYC. In college I studied fine art with an emphasis on oil painting, illustration and a minor in art history. I had a successful career and business until a visit to the ER left me in a coma for 21 weeks. I woke up paralyzed ... unable to even turn my head. After a lengthy recovery at St. Charles and Kessler Institutes I learned how to breathe again without a machine. I also recovered some feeling (about 35%) from above the elbows and upwards. With no feeling below the elbows I am still technically a quadriplegic or partial quad so resuming my art career is still off the table for now. I am highly optimistic about employment as a human doorstop or paperweight.
baby4mommy's FML badges
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
baby4mommy's favorite FMLs
Today, I learned that for the next two months I'll get to train physicians on how to use the computer program that has made my job obsolete. I've known this program was coming for months, but I didn't know it would be taking my job. FML
by jessiethebestie / 05/05/2016 at 1:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by sakurabloom / 05/04/2016 at 4:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by claustrophobic / 05/04/2016 at 3:03pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5am, my mom came in and knocked loudly. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
by TordNorski / 05/04/2016 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by blondessdoll / 05/04/2016 at 1:30pm / United States / Health
by probablyadopted1 / 05/04/2016 at 12:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by just-a-fat-cat / 05/02/2016 at 11:25pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, I returned home after a long day of work. I noticed that my kitten had gotten a hold of my pin cushion, and that there were no needles left in it. My husband and I have only managed to find one, out of 16. FML
by UnknownKitten / 05/02/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/02/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the sensation to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML
by Pee.H.D / 05/02/2016 at 1:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by Pupluv183 / 05/02/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML
by Incompetent / 05/02/2016 at 8:27am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Work
Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML
by shrek / 05/02/2016 at 6:25am / Australia / Work
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
by send the army please / 05/02/2016 at 2:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Love