About baby4mommy : My name is Jamie. My cat Sparkle and I share an apartment just across the river from NYC. In college I studied fine art with an emphasis on oil painting, illustration and a minor in art history. I had a successful career and business until a visit to the ER left me in a coma for 21 weeks. I woke up paralyzed ... unable to even turn my head. After a lengthy recovery at St. Charles and Kessler Institutes I learned how to breathe again without a machine. I also recovered some feeling (about 35%) from above the elbows and upwards. With no feeling below the elbows I am still technically a quadriplegic or partial quad so resuming my art career is still off the table for now. I am highly optimistic about employment as a human doorstop or paperweight.
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baby4mommy's favorite FMLs
by crash and burn / 12/01/2016 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Money
Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML
by purpletrout / 11/30/2016 at 1:39am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
by ginkobiloba / 11/29/2016 at 6:01am / Miscellaneous
by dukemisery / 11/28/2016 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love
Today, I was feeling queasy from the flu so I made some soup to see if it would settle my stomach. It didn't, but at least the giant burn I got on my thigh when the soup spilled hurts enough to distract from the nausea. FML
by Lepisma / 11/27/2016 at 2:22am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Babysitter Probs / 11/27/2016 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after being excited and trying to make plans with all my friends, they all turned out to be busy. After watching Netflix most of the night, I check my Snapchat stories only to see them all hanging out without me at one of their houses. FML
by CollegeStudent / 11/26/2016 at 12:55am / Miscellaneous
by ItsGoneForever / 11/25/2016 at 3:58am / Netherlands / Love
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
by Wanaaa / 11/25/2016 at 2:08am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML
Today, I spoke with my boyfriend about where we want to live when I graduate. He says he doesn't know what he wants and his mother wouldn't approve of us living together. We've been together 3 years with the understanding we would live together once I graduated my Master's. FML
by Florida / 11/23/2016 at 10:04pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I spent the busiest travel day of the year in the busiest airport in the world trapped between the decision to leave the terminal bathroom or shit my pants. Yes, I missed my flight. Sorry, mom. FML
by foodsicknessinATL / 11/23/2016 at 7:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
- Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to… Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it.… Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand…