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Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (4704)
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (126619)
On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31485) - you deserved it (5059)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7567) - you deserved it (33624)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (2868)
On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)
Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (25367)
On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8434) - you deserved it (57417) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21406) - you deserved it (4037)
On 06/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by Username - United States (Iowa)
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29859) - you deserved it (3683)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:44am - health - by mrsekko - United States
Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (4936)
On 04/25/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by neverdatingacopagain (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39301) - you deserved it (6353)
On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50369) - you deserved it (2889)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (2021)
On 02/05/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by MissCommunication (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5178) - you deserved it (38932)
On 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by horn-y (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (4298)
On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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