About ba11in : My life is fucked sideways, backwards, upside down, inside out, diagonally, and every other way possible.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, at my job at an ophthalmology office I was checking a patient's vision. In broken English he tried to explain to me that he couldn't see out of his eye. After trying to assess his vision for 5 min, I finally realized what he was trying to tell me. I was checking his vision in his FAKE eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11566) - you deserved it (30812)
On 04/23/2009 at 10:15pm - work - by COA (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (2040)
On 04/23/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by pleasebackintomycaragain (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14296) - you deserved it (38369)
On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (55776)
On 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by gabormelchior (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (45614)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you deserved it (78735)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13325) - you deserved it (109448)
On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (62956)
On 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by ShamedJP (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199466) - you deserved it (58858)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199466) - you deserved it (58858)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (91682) - you deserved it (5802)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML
I agree, your life sucks (151092) - you deserved it (21705)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States
Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70044) - you deserved it (11491)
On 03/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Tiak (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16705) - you deserved it (55088)
On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59698) - you deserved it (8200)
On 03/29/2009 at 8:32am - kids - by Chubs (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Monday 20 May 2013
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