About azularayne : I like squirrels...and mexican food. 0_o
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12087) - you deserved it (67940)
On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20553) - you deserved it (351213)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (127902)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you deserved it (37674)
On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14937) - you deserved it (48237)
On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12160) - you deserved it (188224)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States
Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56315) - you deserved it (13310)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57186) - you deserved it (4556)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32217) - you deserved it (58966)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:48am - work - by 00Evan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16608) - you deserved it (58028)
On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (48824)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (67766)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57586) - you deserved it (5287)
On 04/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126797) - you deserved it (18201)
On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199554) - you deserved it (58876)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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