Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

azularayne

Offline (the 04/12/2014 at 3:10pm) | Search for a member

azularayne

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5164
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About azularayne : I like squirrels...and mexican food. 0_o

azularayne's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Kefka91</b> - the 05/30/2011 at 1:22am<b>YacL</b> - the 05/24/2011 at 4:27pm

azularayne's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of azularayne's badges

azularayne's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccups 5 times so far. FML

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

#20497647
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16335) - you deserved it (25803)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12670) - you deserved it (49638)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (2114)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (2227)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML

#20496974
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (41940)

On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37731) - you deserved it (3402)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (5123)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (34981)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39477) - you deserved it (2415)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML

#20496678
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11382) - you deserved it (55625)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (16339)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (38053)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (2822)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: