azularayne

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Offline (the 04/12/2014 at 3:10pm)

azularayne

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9925
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About azularayne : I like squirrels...and mexican food. 0_o

azularayne's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Kefka91</b> - the 05/30/2011 at 1:22am<b>YacL</b> - the 05/24/2011 at 4:27pm

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azularayne's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

by rani / 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

by fuckedbyretail / 02/02/2013 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2013 at 9:41am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

by Awkward / 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Health

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm / Romania (Cluj) / Work

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

by 3some? uh, no / 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm / Dominican Republic / Love

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

by kylie18xx21 / 02/01/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

by HistoryFreak / 02/01/2013 at 4:19am / France / Geek

Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

by Angry Mob / 02/01/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work