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ayyankhan

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ayyankhan

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  • Number of visits : 104
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ayyankhan's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (12133)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (26484)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (5250)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (2516)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (2311)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

#19719938
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23373) - you deserved it (4792)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7661) - you deserved it (32645)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

#19227628
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7348) - you deserved it (31352)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML

#17097344
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (5744)

On 07/13/2011 at 6:01pm - love - by 30Jenna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32699) - you deserved it (6263)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute to realize that it was me they were making fun of. FML

#16114779
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (19603)

On 05/10/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by Nick (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10647) - you deserved it (47605)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (41368)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML

#14449121
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (1877)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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