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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was getting out of the carhen I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shd . I screamd an threw mah bag . It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was mah shadow on the wall . FML
Today,hila mowing tha lawn, I was attackd by an undarground hornat nast. I now hava many stings, two scard dogs, an a mowar still running outsida. Tha hornats r swarming it an soma r sitting on tha lavar, as if to turn it off. It's lika thay know. FML
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me askd if she could use phone. As I handd it to her, I attemptd to use the expression "knock yourself out," but 4 a reason I can still not fathom, it cummd out as "kill yourself." FML
Today, I Was Babysitting Four Kids . I Turned The TV On 4 Them, And Set The Youngest On Lap . She Started Giggling And Pointing At Every Single Pimple I Have, Exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This Went On 4 Half An Hour . FML
Today, I was cooking someting I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daugter to tape a bag over te smoke detector . Se said se did, so I cooked; te alarm went off and firemen came . Se adn't taped over te smoke detector, se'd taped it over te doorbell . FML
Today, mah teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost mah vrginity!! I sarcastically replied that I'm still a vrgin!! She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder your so uptight!! You need to get laid, mom." mega FML
Today , after having bought mah daughter a complete set of new school clothes , she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them , or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
Today I told mah parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering there questions about him when mah dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through mah teeth and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML
Friday 27 March 2015