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Mobility
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Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
I agree, your life sucks (76957) - you deserved it (2747)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (228405)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (89901)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56533) - you deserved it (8223)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12154) - you deserved it (187903)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States
Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62404) - you deserved it (19495)
On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15603) - you deserved it (68644)
On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML
I agree, your life sucks (66834) - you deserved it (4071)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61911) - you deserved it (6082)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65065) - you deserved it (22179)
On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (8001)
On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was meeting my sister's fiancé. I went to an internet cafe before I went to her house for dinner with them. I was on a computer and there was this really attractive man next to me. I was flirting with him and we exchanged numbers. Turns out, he is my sister's fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58046) - you deserved it (5496)
On 03/05/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by f*** (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49283) - you deserved it (3856)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (82034) - you deserved it (4351)
On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4547) - you deserved it (46850)
On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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