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awsome13

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awsome13

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 572
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Visits<b>deathposts</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 12:59am<b>jinglebombs</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 7:39am<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 12:41pm

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awsome13's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48890) - you deserved it (11606)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36732) - you deserved it (3308)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (23303)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12573) - you deserved it (51140)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
166 comments

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (3191)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

#20531130
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33594) - you deserved it (4308)

On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (36360)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30131) - you deserved it (4614)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16559) - you deserved it (27842)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (7526)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (1546)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (2546)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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