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awoodenhouse

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awoodenhouse

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 10928
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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awoodenhouse's page activity

Visits<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 12:35pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:01pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/18/2009 at 7:56pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 10/20/2009 at 5:27pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 08/11/2009 at 1:07am<b>jamalwoody</b> - the 08/08/2009 at 4:41pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 10:01am<b>edanos1</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 8:40pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 5:11pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 10:41am<b>kassiejoy</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 7:15pm

awoodenhouse's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

awoodenhouse's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12600) - you deserved it (112853)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17156) - you deserved it (68049)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (10025)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11719) - you deserved it (28353)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (4778)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45775) - you deserved it (7637)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94435) - you deserved it (19961)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66464) - you deserved it (14783)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63078) - you deserved it (40859)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89235) - you deserved it (7241)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (346183) - you deserved it (38544)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25168) - you deserved it (61452)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)



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