About awkward_gothlady : Creative. Eccentric. Shy. Fun. Cat person. Crazy.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10902) - you deserved it (18805)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)
Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15938) - you deserved it (1588)
On 03/28/2012 at 9:52am - misc - by andromeda80 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16217) - you deserved it (2316)
On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15987) - you deserved it (2863)
On 03/10/2012 at 10:06pm - health - by jmac (man) - United States (California)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (6918)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (3174)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm - work - by NoMoreMeters - United States (Ohio)
Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9212) - you deserved it (22746)
On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (40961) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (5404)
On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8579) - you deserved it (30730)
On 05/18/2011 at 9:08am - work - by Red-cheeked -
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19330) - you deserved it (8303)
On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (23708)
On 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7557) - you deserved it (23812)
On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29118) - you deserved it (12819)
On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (1644)
On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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