About awkward_gothlady : Creative. Eccentric. Shy. Fun. Cat person. Crazy.
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awkward_gothlady's favorite FMLs
by muffin / 07/16/2013 at 8:01am / Austria / Miscellaneous
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 6:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML
by red_headforlife / 09/28/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Intimacy
by mrs14 / 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
by ohhhemmgee / 09/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML
by hooligyn123 / 09/04/2012 at 4:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by frustrated / 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML
by CC / 09/02/2012 at 2:27am / United States (Michigan) / Health
- Today, while showing a group of guys my heavy bag routine at the gym, I attempted to perform a high… Today, My two Co-Workers and I realized that we have been working for the same company for years as… Today, I went for an operation. Only to walk out with my gallbladder still there and the news I am…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…