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awesommessofpies

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awesommessofpies

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 389
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About awesommessofpies : Don't like going out side... I might see people... Want to join the Army... With out my music i would die...I am a Stan... I am so single it's depressing

awesommessofpies's page activity

Visits<b>elial</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:35am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:54pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:48pm<b>froggus</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:21pm<b>SadGirl18</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 11:23pm<b>whatwhatindayeah</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 7:53pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 5:25am<b>aa1717</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 1:15am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 4:30pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:39pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:52pm<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:37am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 1:02am<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:45pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:49am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 6:18pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 3:47pm

awesommessofpies's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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awesommessofpies's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44153) - you deserved it (8806)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (6806)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (10336)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23028) - you deserved it (36473)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (7335)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

#20838688
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (11859)

On 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by kaynotentirelywrong (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (39359)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53422) - you deserved it (8507)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49201) - you deserved it (6452)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60883) - you deserved it (13808)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47222) - you deserved it (4987)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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