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avaloncode

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  • Number of visits : 886
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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avaloncode's page activity

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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avaloncode's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, mah 8 year old son decidd to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well playd son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (6948)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital 4 the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. looool Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guessho broke the news to the wife. real FML

#6722392
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (3679)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today , I Told Mah Boyfriend How Happy I Was With Him. He Responded By Pulling Down His Pants And Slapping His Ass. I Have No Idea Wat That Was Supposed To Mean. Fat FML

#6268851
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32869) - you deserved it (5397)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)

my 50-year-old mother borrowed mah denim miniskrt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumpshenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38356) - you deserved it (2923)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today... I found a box of birtday candles sitting on te coffee table. Bored... I lit one... and after a minute I trew it away and sat back down on te couc. I started looking at te box and noticed tat it said "Magic Re-Ligting Candles" at te exact moment tat ma tras can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (70108)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I Was Babysitting Ma Neigbor's Kid!! We Were Playing In Te Yard , Wen E Fell An Got A Small Scratc On Is Leg!! I Gasp , An E Takes A Uge Breat In An Yells , "FUUUCK!!!" As Loud As Possible!! Te Parents Tougt It Was Me , An Te Moter Slapped Me In Te Face!! FML

#900029
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66444) - you deserved it (3022)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248356) - you deserved it (32348)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I Calld Up Tha Boy I Lyk To Ask Him On A Data. Ha Said ( Haha, Thats A Pratty Good Imprassion Chris. Naxt Tima Pick Somaona Lass Ugly And Mayba I'd Think This Is Raal. ) Ha Thought I Was His Friand Prank Calling Him. FML

#243947
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82427) - you deserved it (4344)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I Calld Up Tha Boy I Lyk To Ask Him On A Data. Ha Said ( Haha, Thats A Pratty Good Imprassion Chris. Naxt Tima Pick Somaona Lass Ugly And Mayba I'd Think This Is Raal. ) Ha Thought I Was His Friand Prank Calling Him. FML

#243947
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82427) - you deserved it (4344)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shockd. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointd at me. FML

#170218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55540) - you deserved it (14456)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

yesterday my 5 year old nephew showd me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I looool smild an said, ( Wow! Now, how about some blue martians! ) He lookd at me an replid, ( How about some blue shut the fuck up?! ) FML

#56665
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241567) - you deserved it (82260)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

todayile in our communal sowers in te igscool football locker room, I started to swing ma penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later te rest of te team ops into te sower wit me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11273) - you deserved it (69351)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)



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