avaloncode

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avaloncode

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1191
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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avaloncode's page activity

Visits<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:55am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 7:39am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 7:06pm<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:41pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:38am<b>tehman117</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:27am<b>singer0421</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:11am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:38am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:53pm<b>silon5</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:30am<b>Unkreative</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:37pm<b>fmlmylife1826451</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:14am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 1:30am<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:58pm<b>swagman22759</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 4:28pm<b>adultchild</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:29pm<b>lexxiii</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 8:04am<b>Starter</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:40am

avaloncode's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of avaloncode's badges

avaloncode's favorite FMLs

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

by embarassed / 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm / United States / Health

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

by elliekilroy / 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

by silverstar189 / 01/01/2010 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids