Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

avaloncode

Search for a member

avaloncode

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

avaloncode's page activity

Visits<b>singer0421</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:11am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:38am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:53pm<b>silon5</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:30am<b>Unkreative</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:37pm<b>fmlmylife1826451</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:14am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 1:30am<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:58pm<b>swagman22759</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 4:28pm<b>adultchild</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:29pm<b>lexxiii</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 8:04am<b>Starter</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:40am

avaloncode's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of avaloncode's badges

avaloncode's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23575) - you deserved it (3770)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (2714) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (2714) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (2792)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (18319)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

#19237178
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11589) - you deserved it (19249)

On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML

#19237178
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11589) - you deserved it (19249)

On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (9134)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

#18626777
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42428) - you deserved it (2224)

On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (5419)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (48291)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35297) - you deserved it (4742)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (2997)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: