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  • Number of visits : 1043
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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avaloncode's page activity

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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avaloncode's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (2586)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (1661)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51563) - you deserved it (15130)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML


Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (2153)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (4595) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (26913)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (1752)

On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (7115)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29960) - you deserved it (1677)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (1991)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (2325)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (3937)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30225) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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All illustrated FMLs

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  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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