Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

avaloncode

Search for a member

avaloncode

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 690
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

avaloncode's page activity

Visits<b>singer0421</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:11am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:38am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:53pm<b>silon5</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:30am<b>Unkreative</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:37pm<b>fmlmylife1826451</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:14am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 1:30am<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:58pm<b>swagman22759</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 4:28pm<b>adultchild</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:29pm<b>lexxiii</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 8:04am<b>Starter</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:40am

avaloncode's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of avaloncode's badges

avaloncode's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23180) - you deserved it (2351)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (1516)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47391) - you deserved it (14036)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
169 comments

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (1947)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (4303) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10554) - you deserved it (25256)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

#20126784
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (1537)

On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (1468)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21765) - you deserved it (1761)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22739) - you deserved it (2103)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (3663)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (2819)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: