About aubielovsea : Hi my friend told me about this site and that I should look at it when ever I am feeling down.... Soooo I made an account.
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aubielovsea's favorite FMLs
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by pixkalexi / 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 9:57am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML
by BornInTheWrongEra / 03/31/2013 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by guy / 03/15/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
by guessnot / 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML
by fuckedbyretail / 02/02/2013 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm / United States / Love
by lesson.learned / 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him… Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at… Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?"…