Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

aubama

Offline (the 12/30/2014 at 9:54am) | Search for a member

aubama

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 December 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 625
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About aubama : funky malicious life

aubama's page activity

Visits<b>Eco193</b> - yesterday at 5:16pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:18am<b>twye</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:04am<b>minnymiss</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:31pm<b>WindowSmudge</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 3:07am<b>TheOnlyMizLiv</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:12pm<b>Maczilla1</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:21am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:01am<b>vettvixen</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:50am<b>pitapizzaparty</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:02am<b>curlytop101</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:11pm<b>Flaming_Pandas</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:49pm<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>agirlnamedLola</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:58pm<b>PresidentNorth</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:29pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:08pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheOnlyMizLiv</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:12pm

aubama's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of aubama's badges

aubama's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34551) - you deserved it (3746)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (4013)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38507) - you deserved it (3273)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (6301)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

#21305482
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (3226)

On 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31753) - you deserved it (2528)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (9609)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29952) - you deserved it (10324)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (34642)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48862) - you deserved it (6816)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38969) - you deserved it (2777)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (3032)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (2508)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37023) - you deserved it (14786)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: