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atulsempire

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atulsempire

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 April 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 535
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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atulsempire's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62886) - you deserved it (3632)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49220) - you deserved it (2806)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80486) - you deserved it (11139)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65508) - you deserved it (18687)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36173) - you deserved it (8069)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (8163)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17396) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17699) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25946) - you deserved it (1831)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (5962)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (8884)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (15755)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28971) - you deserved it (1687)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (8783)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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