Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

atulsempire

Search for a member

atulsempire
  • Town/Country : Perth, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 April 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 291
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

atulsempire's last visitors

dangerika93miwakoJrLee87onorexveritas

atulsempire's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of atulsempire's badges

atulsempire's favorite FMLs

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (5387)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12612) - you deserved it (2588)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12834) - you deserved it (2892)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19786) - you deserved it (1193)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19120) - you deserved it (4387)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (7501)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19709) - you deserved it (10822)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (1099)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (6388)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (5635)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (2310)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (2124)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (9447)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (2274)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18032) - you deserved it (4807)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: