"Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence."
-Ricky Bobby
Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24580) - you totally deserved it (3059)
On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24437) - you totally deserved it (1897)
On 09/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you totally deserved it (1710)
On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8248) - you totally deserved it (30654)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. The first words out of my dad's mouth were "If my daughter sees your penis, I'll cut it off". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44387) - you totally deserved it (4608)
On 08/27/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
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