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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11208) - you deserved it (28586)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6900) - you deserved it (52524)
On 08/10/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by hitandrun (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I gave blood. Needless to say, I don't like needles and jerked my arm when the aide stuck me. The needle snapped. After panicking the nurse rushed to unsuccessfully remove the tip from my vein. They had to cut it out before it infiltrated my blood stream. I now have stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (36401)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:49pm - health - by SGlass (man) - United States
Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said "is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" and when I answered "yes," he turned and walked out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46359) - you deserved it (4645)
On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by szinna - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43246) - you deserved it (2675)
On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76001) - you deserved it (6613)
On 04/30/2009 at 11:11am - health - by buymeadrank (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101342) - you deserved it (7717)
On 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (436971) - you deserved it (61415)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (89049)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54194) - you deserved it (3047)
On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63519) - you deserved it (13058)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5750) - you deserved it (39292)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version
Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6587) - you deserved it (18487)
On 01/14/2009 at 11:03am - love - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14767) - you deserved it (1448)
On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you deserved it (5605)
On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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