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astriofou

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astriofou

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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astriofou's page activity

Visits<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:00pm<b>LeWatcher</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 10:58pm<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 3:30am<b>iFollowYouLead</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:17am<b>lassal</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:16pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:04am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 7:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:08pm<b>CorinnaHEY</b> - the 07/07/2011 at 11:31pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:05pm<b>Killerturtle</b> - the 05/17/2011 at 7:37am<b>lmc94</b> - the 04/27/2011 at 8:52pm

astriofou's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

astriofou's favorite FMLs

Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML

#14212357
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (6417)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by penisgrabber - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (25881)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

#13355611
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (5270)

On 10/07/2010 at 3:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9759) - you deserved it (33559)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (12313)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (12313)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40462) - you deserved it (7203)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

#8841470
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (4689)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:06am - love - by jonnah - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8849) - you deserved it (57286)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML

#6695402
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30923) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33860) - you deserved it (9714)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47739) - you deserved it (15949)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

#4975904
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52480) - you deserved it (3978)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

#4880765
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48872) - you deserved it (2243)

On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)



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