astriofou

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astriofou

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1429
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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astriofou's page activity

Visits<b>mhersh_59</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:22pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 4:43pm<b>kayana153</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:16pm<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:09pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:57am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:20pm<b>me127</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 9:19pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:00pm<b>LeWatcher</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 10:58pm<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 3:30am<b>iFollowYouLead</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:17am<b>lassal</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:16pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:04am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 7:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:08pm<b>CorinnaHEY</b> - the 07/07/2011 at 11:31pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:05pm

Fucked!<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:52pm

astriofou's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

astriofou's favorite FMLs

Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML

by penisgrabber / 12/15/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 3:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

by jackson / 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

by pencilring / 09/04/2010 at 10:08am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

by pencilring / 09/04/2010 at 10:08am / United States / Love

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2010 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (London) / Animals

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

by jonnah / 03/05/2010 at 8:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

by toiletgirl / 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML

by Hairball / 12/10/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

by moon_paw / 11/28/2009 at 11:17am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

by adriana / 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

by wtfman101 / 08/28/2009 at 10:56am / United States (California) / Transportation