astriofou

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astriofou

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1397
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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astriofou's page activity

Visits<b>mhersh_59</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:22pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 4:43pm<b>kayana153</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:16pm<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:09pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:57am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:20pm<b>me127</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 9:19pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:00pm<b>LeWatcher</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 10:58pm<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 3:30am<b>iFollowYouLead</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:17am<b>lassal</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:16pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:04am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 7:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:08pm<b>CorinnaHEY</b> - the 07/07/2011 at 11:31pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:05pm

Fucked!<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:52pm

astriofou's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

astriofou's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a filling. Instead of giving me Novocaine, my dentist decided he was going to use a special new paste on me while he drilled. It didn't work. FML

by StupidDentist / 06/20/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

by oldmama728 / 04/28/2011 at 7:07am / Geek

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

by scarred4life / 04/27/2011 at 10:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

by nightDREAMERms / 04/23/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

by cdn_steed / 04/23/2011 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML

by Sadman / 04/23/2011 at 4:37am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

by n77 / 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Health

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

by Damian / 04/22/2011 at 7:11am / Intimacy

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

by Stupid / 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Work

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

by madi / 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

by poopybed / 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm / Macedonia (Struga) / Animals

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous