Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

astriofou

Search for a member

astriofou

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 903
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

astriofou's page activity

Visits<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:00pm<b>LeWatcher</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 10:58pm<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 3:30am<b>iFollowYouLead</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:17am<b>lassal</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:16pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:04am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 05/20/2012 at 7:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:08pm<b>CorinnaHEY</b> - the 07/07/2011 at 11:31pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:05pm<b>Killerturtle</b> - the 05/17/2011 at 7:37am<b>lmc94</b> - the 04/27/2011 at 8:52pm

astriofou's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

astriofou's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a filling. Instead of giving me Novocaine, my dentist decided he was going to use a special new paste on me while he drilled. It didn't work. FML

#16764992
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (2763)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:21pm - health - by StupidDentist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (35081)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (41431)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29901) - you deserved it (17641)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (6881)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (4159)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML

#15895306
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (9925)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Sadman (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (3227) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80762) - you deserved it (6037)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32950) - you deserved it (16552)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

#15796030
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (2801)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by madi - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (6358)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (32276)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

#15531816
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (6216)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Macedonia (Struga)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

#14272041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34608) - you deserved it (9059)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: