Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

asti89

Search for a member

asti89
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 January 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1300
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About asti89 : My name is Astrid.
I live out the country.
And I'm obsessed with Turtles

asti89's last visitors

derekmalcFreezehaJustSoLostFentownmuffy_da_bearDaaniellee1234DrakonPinkWashedYuliajustmy_luck

asti89's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

asti89's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

#3327464
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31604) - you deserved it (13397)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML

#3307741
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4803) - you deserved it (52024)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

#3302714
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86013) - you deserved it (5953)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10422) - you deserved it (48702)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

#3201910
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (8861)

On 06/25/2009 at 10:13am - work - by KN (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color, when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchish popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

#3178772
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (6543)

On 06/24/2009 at 4:19pm - animals - by spiderinmylips (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42581) - you deserved it (3265)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42581) - you deserved it (3265)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42581) - you deserved it (3265)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

#3136598
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15817) - you deserved it (38280)

On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

#2900113
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15702) - you deserved it (47382)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: