About asti89 : My name is Astrid.
I live out the country.
And I'm obsessed with Turtles
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47752) - you deserved it (2097)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:32am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40272) - you deserved it (7050)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40272) - you deserved it (7050)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11169) - you deserved it (30689)
On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46759) - you deserved it (12937)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92288) - you deserved it (27500)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52164) - you deserved it (3266)
On 07/25/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by fmlatmovies (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5793) - you deserved it (61196)
On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML
I agree, your life sucks (7561) - you deserved it (41164)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore
Today, my younger brother, who is 15, had to show me the quickest way to take off a woman's bra. I'm 12 years older than he is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (10902)
On 07/10/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by nerd_man01 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52237) - you deserved it (5627)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States
Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5402) - you deserved it (47862)
On 07/07/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so I wouldn't miss my plane. There were 2 piles of clothes on my bed. One pile was clothes that didn't fit to take to a thrift store, one was to take with me. Guess which one I brought? FML
I agree, your life sucks (13386) - you deserved it (47384)
On 06/29/2009 at 5:52pm - misc - by Cheech (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38900) - you deserved it (8927)
On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37964) - you deserved it (11566)
On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
