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ashleighglenn

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ashleighglenn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 256
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ashleighglenn's page activity

Visits<b>Razi_tail</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 10:35pm

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ashleighglenn's favorite FMLs

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64723) - you deserved it (8567)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46608) - you deserved it (4329)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39384) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46467) - you deserved it (3659)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48997) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (10342)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45918) - you deserved it (14882)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54225) - you deserved it (6162)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34023) - you deserved it (5109)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

#20831608
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (60610)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

#20819957
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49440) - you deserved it (4858)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:37am - love - by uniannonymous - United Kingdom (Merton)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49088) - you deserved it (5456)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45240) - you deserved it (3786)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51549) - you deserved it (20773)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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