About ashlehparks : I like apple fritters, bacon, poutine, and anything on the hobbit menu at Denny's (excluding pumpkin pancakes).
ashlehparks's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
ashlehparks's favorite FMLs
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals
by BKCK4187 / 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Christina / 12/05/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money
Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML
by TTR / 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
by pokeballbra / 10/17/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by thedeerman / 09/17/2011 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by girlsx2mom / 08/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
by jshi8 / 08/04/2011 at 10:35am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
by howniceofyou / 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/18/2011 at 11:43am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML