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ashlehparks

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ashlehparks

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1044
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ashlehparks : I like apple fritters, bacon, poutine, and anything on the hobbit menu at Denny's (excluding pumpkin pancakes).

ashlehparks's page activity

Visits<b>hoepants0227</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 12:25am

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ashlehparks's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

#2147101
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51115) - you deserved it (22890)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ECullen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15488) - you deserved it (51802)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

#1743823
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60364) - you deserved it (4693)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:28am - health - by gimp. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (271306)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55290) - you deserved it (5161)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64372) - you deserved it (3181)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML

#742814
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59595) - you deserved it (15506)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:16am - intimacy - by easilyexited (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244370) - you deserved it (32233)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML

#464994
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (42996)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (51175)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

#322289
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30438) - you deserved it (76087)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML

#264101
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61994) - you deserved it (6059)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (235251) - you deserved it (31116)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)



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