About ashlehparks : I like apple fritters, bacon, poutine, and anything on the hobbit menu at Denny's (excluding pumpkin pancakes).
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ashlehparks's favorite FMLs
by ke / 01/29/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
by showerpower / 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
by Fatlady43 / 01/19/2010 at 12:08am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
by Mic / 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by makeitstop / 12/02/2009 at 2:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied "An eyebrow wax?" FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by embarassed_chick / 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML
by BadMurderer / 07/31/2009 at 12:01am / Mexico (Tabasco) / Kids
Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML
by flustered / 07/28/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML
by jcooh0lla / 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML
by purrtygirl / 06/09/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
by nevergoingonabusagain / 05/30/2009 at 2:52am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous