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ashleeyka's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
ashleeyka's favorite FMLs
by Lauren Smith / 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 11:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by princessj / 10/16/2010 at 1:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by A. / 10/14/2010 at 3:15am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Money
by anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:50am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 3:41am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 5:41am / United States (California) / Work
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health
by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 4:40am / Vietnam / Animals
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…