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ashleeyka's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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ashleeyka's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML
by leeseyxoxo / 03/27/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
by Abby_gummibear / 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
by yournick / 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML
by sandra22 / 01/22/2011 at 3:49am / Miscellaneous
Today, I called the college of my dreams to check the status of my application. Turns out they "never received" copies of my transcripts. They did however cash the $70 application fee that was mailed with them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Washington) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by fail / 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend and I woke up in a frisky mood and after a very quick glance around the house… Today, I started my first day working the drive thru at Taco Bell. My very first customer, a lady,… Today, my new doctor gave me a pamphlet for a cervical cancer prevention injection and told me it's…