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ashleeyka

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ashleeyka
  • Town/Country : San Antonio, US
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2663
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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ashleeyka's last visitors

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ashleeyka's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ashleeyka's badges

ashleeyka's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29413) - you deserved it (10011)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you deserved it (3963)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (4417)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (16042) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (16786)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML

#17969396
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (4031)

On 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm - money - by WhoopteeDooDoo (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22044) - you deserved it (7129)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

#17544940
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (50088)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

#17535182
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36634) - you deserved it (3059)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (36462)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32600) - you deserved it (2026)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (7739)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46564) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)



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