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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25117) - you deserved it (7807)
On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (3913)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20712) - you deserved it (3699)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (11994) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (13027)
On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (23871)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by dust1535538 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (3130)
On 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm - money - by WhoopteeDooDoo (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21460) - you deserved it (7074)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6572) - you deserved it (37936)
On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (2270)
On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (27442)
On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (2002)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (7661)
On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45783) - you deserved it (2383)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36285) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Friday 24 May 2013
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