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ashleeyka's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
ashleeyka's favorite FMLs
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
by Fought The Law / 10/29/2011 at 12:51am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids
by titoutou222 / 10/22/2011 at 8:40am / France / Kids
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
by Awie / 10/20/2011 at 4:26am / Austria (Wien) / Love
by dust1535538 / 10/13/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by WhoopteeDooDoo / 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm / United States (Texas) / Money
by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by heheheh / 08/22/2011 at 2:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML
by Tinkerer / 08/21/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Emily / 08/21/2011 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by bursteardrums / 08/16/2011 at 11:00am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were… Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize… Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked…