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ashleeyka

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ashleeyka
  • Town/Country : San Antonio, US
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2679
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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ashleeyka's last visitors

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ashleeyka's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ashleeyka's badges

ashleeyka's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

#9994288
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34039) - you deserved it (8856)

On 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (9803)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

#8883543
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (31837)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41823) - you deserved it (9344)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (3141)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15593) - you deserved it (39865)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7562) - you deserved it (55094)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (5212)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41645) - you deserved it (2541)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45860) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

#4840344
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73829) - you deserved it (3167)

On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6550) - you deserved it (70939)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117520) - you deserved it (6627)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)



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