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ashleeyka

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ashleeyka
  • Town/Country : San Antonio, US
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2617
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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ashleeyka's last visitors

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ashleeyka's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ashleeyka's badges

ashleeyka's favorite FMLs

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

#12622132
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (4150)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by ktin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15118) - you deserved it (26054)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML

#12592660
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (2777)

On 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Still Dry - United States

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

#12579737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (3162)

On 08/17/2010 at 7:43am - work - by JoannaG25 (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32116) - you deserved it (4660)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

#12530791
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25074) - you deserved it (2692)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I made lists of what celebrities we're interested in. The first one she listed wasn't a celebrity - it was my brother. He's spending the weekend with us. FML

#12519731
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (3221)

On 08/14/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by Chad - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8350) - you deserved it (43920)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33358) - you deserved it (3664)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

#12409274
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32091) - you deserved it (20402)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:38am - love - by Forgotten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39092) - you deserved it (12905)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

#11907332
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (4102)

On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17817) - you deserved it (24120)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40065) - you deserved it (10420)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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