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Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38135) - you deserved it (8657)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37926) - you deserved it (14833)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18573) - you deserved it (5208)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18223) - you deserved it (1142)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15652) - you deserved it (2603)
On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (2115)
On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4771) - you deserved it (21336)
On 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Mikaela - United States
Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16838) - you deserved it (2980)
On 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm - misc - by blocked (man) - United States
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (6928)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (2456)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (1723)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22326) - you deserved it (6557) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (5042)
On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18376) - you deserved it (4011)
On 01/12/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by xXMudkipNoobXx - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (40505)
On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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