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asdfghjkluv

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asdfghjkluv

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asdfghjkluv's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44650) - you deserved it (4345)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (44619)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (11289)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (20254)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (7540)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (3785)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19133) - you deserved it (2968)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML

#19712895
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6122) - you deserved it (26119)

On 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Mikaela - United States

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

#19700381
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (4215)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm - misc - by blocked (man) - United States

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (7712)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30311) - you deserved it (2840)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29661) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)



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