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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (165821) - you deserved it (14451)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65736) - you deserved it (4574)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8442) - you deserved it (51058)
On 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boss came up to my desk to talk about a new project. He came up to my monitor so we can go to a website. My browser had frozen and I couldn't close it. The tabs I had open: Facebook, Gmail, Careerbuilder, Monster, and Resume Samples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13237) - you deserved it (49365)
On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - work - by ex-employee (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8735) - you deserved it (59568)
On 04/01/2009 at 5:18am - misc - by esv (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (5518)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45733) - you deserved it (23924)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56476) - you deserved it (7298)
On 03/11/2009 at 1:04am - misc - by fmlmylife - United States (Texas)
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (5894)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16622) - you deserved it (4621)
On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19416) - you deserved it (3039)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)
Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20856) - you deserved it (1260)
On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version
Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15055) - you deserved it (27633)
On 11/12/2008 at 12:25am - work - by Lio - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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