artykat

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artykat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15161
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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artykat's page activity

Visits<b>Sry_Mry777</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 4:22pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:37am<b>teeeyee21</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:23pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:06am<b>julian0605</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:27pm<b>SalviBarbie</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:33am<b>Arni792</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:50am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:37pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 7:23pm<b>socoldmusic13</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:52pm<b>ElMonkeyBlanco</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 8:13pm<b>shoopd</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 11:53am<b>Noxialis</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 6:45am<b>a33324332</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 4:56am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:02am<b>tahrfarce</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 9:19am<b>eddie_24</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 12:16am

artykat's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

artykat's favorite FMLs

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

by anon13 / 04/12/2009 at 12:27am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

by ripped / 04/11/2009 at 2:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

by oops / 04/05/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:36am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

by Donzai / 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

by Hotsauce887 / 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

by engaged / 03/29/2009 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

by rusty2020 / 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

by unloved / 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2009 at 11:07am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

by Zoe123 / 03/19/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML

by Rev / 03/18/2009 at 1:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

by himtopia19 / 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation