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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I've been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It's my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (1711)
On 12/06/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17424) - you deserved it (41324)
On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (77853) - you deserved it (3980)
On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (84815) - you deserved it (16568)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (51830) - you deserved it (18220)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11755) - you deserved it (40854)
On 04/27/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Radgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62258) - you deserved it (20222)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55734) - you deserved it (6897)
On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74247) - you deserved it (4907)
On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (41390)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52464) - you deserved it (4121)
On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9148) - you deserved it (45615)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (8449)
On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53593) - you deserved it (3895)
On 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand
Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40050) - you deserved it (11661)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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