arsewipe92

Search for a member

arsewipe92

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2064
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About arsewipe92 : i'M RANDOM.

arsewipe92's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 7:15pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:47am<b>arich6210</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:22am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 11:46am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:00pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:34am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 1:31pm<b>Kcin18</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:41pm<b>ttille</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 7:37pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 1:46am<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 4:28pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:41am<b>Destroyer_2_2</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 4:04pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 8:45am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:04pm<b>TaquitoPrincess</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:59am<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:03pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 1:59am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:10am

arsewipe92's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

arsewipe92's favorite FMLs

Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML

by arsewipe92 / 08/30/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

by LizP40 / 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML

by thanksjerk / 08/11/2009 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

by Morrowindwhore / 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

by nikkrissa_04 / 08/07/2009 at 7:17am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

by jadakorn / 07/11/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

by cheated / 07/08/2009 at 2:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love